I spent the last few days before my birthday attending a symposium emphasizing the idea of truth-telling and possibility making, especially for Black, Indigenous, People of Color as we/they navigate higher education.
This past year has been filled with many beautiful experiences and lessons that I cannot fully share in just one blog post and some that I cannot share publicly because they were private moments of love and care. Yet, a highlight that I have definitely shared has been learning to love myself, especially as I navigate colonized spaces. That kind of lesson and experience has been such a key moment for myself, and this goes within the theme of truth-telling and possibility making because in becoming to love myself, I am learning to be myself.
What I mean by this sense of being is that there is clear purposefulness in how I envision the world and how I navigate my current colonized reality. Such clarity has given me so much more freedom in just being and knowing the spaces where I can bring my entirety into without repercussions or alienation. There is a freedom to love, to think, and to grow as a Diné.
Within the framework of the symposium that experience of self-love is, personally, connected to the idea of truth-telling. I am sharing and embodying the truth of who I was, who I am, and who I will be.
It is this experience of self-love that has encouraged me (and in some moments forced) me to imagine a future or, as the theme of the symposium encourages, make possibilities, which is the mindset I am bringing for my 24th birthday. A shift from my 23rd birthday and 22nd birthday.
When I imagine my future, I feel a beautiful harmonious world where I can just be, where the ugly and denied parts of myself coexist. I celebrate all of the parts of me all day and every day. I am not anxious or afraid when I go out in public. I do not have to explain who I am to others. I feel an endless amount of joy and I am accepted unconditionally.
In such a world, there is a mentality of abundance, a love, and cooperation with all that has shifted the way we imagine support and growth. Physical, intellectual, and spiritual development are simultaneous, and we do not have to pick one over the other. There is so much for so many because we choose to share and grow together as communities. We recognize unique characteristics and strengths, and we encourage and cultivate them.
I have such an image of what a world could be that I do not mind the chaos that is. Personally, harmony is the balance between the two, chaos and order. There is an orderly nature to chaos and a chaotic aspect to order that I find so empowering and hopeful.
This is the future I want to work towards, and this is the future I aspire to manifest. On this 24th Birthday, I am imagining something greater than myself. I am embodying my truth. Both of which is a step towards my possibility.
ahéhee’ // thank you.
P. S. I was live tweeting throughout the symposium. This twitter thread has all the links. There was so much wisdom that was shared and so many phenomenal scholars highlighted, please check them out!